Solving Your Child's Eating Problems

As I mentioned in a previous post, about the snack cupboard, we have been struggling to get Cai to want to eat in a healthy way. Although the snack cupboard technique was a start, we now have a full blown procedure for having Cai eat healthy. It's all thanks to this book, sent to me by my mom.

Our amazing procedure is actually supremely simple:

Allow Cai to eat what he wants, when he wants so that he learns to listen to his body. When he listens to his body he can identify when he is hungry and what exactly will satisfy that hunger, after he has eaten that thing he will then be able to identify when he is full and stop eating.

It all sounds very foreign to us because in our culture we expect people to eat at certain times of the day and to eat certain types of foods. For example: It is acceptable to eat oatmeal for breakfast but not for dinner, one should eat a balanced lunch and dinner (vegetable, protein, carbohydrate) and try not to snack in between....Just because this is what we do doesn't mean that it's actually what is best for us!

Solving Your Child's Eating Problems By Jane R. Hirschmann and Lela Zaphiropoulos states that the reason we have so many eating disorders in our Western society is due to the fact that we put so much emphasis on food and so little emphasis on hunger. If you only eat when you are hungry and only what you are hungry for then you will feel satiated and not feel the need to eat other random things. In addition, if you view the bad foods (sweets, fattening foods, salty foods...) as equal to the healthy foods (vegetables, fruits...) and have them available equally, the appeal of the bad foods fades. For example, when you eat a whole box of Oreo cookies you certainly do not feel the need to start in on the next box, you probably crave something with a different taste to combat the sweetness, milk maybe. Because we have learned to totally ignore our body's food desires we only hear these cries in such extreme situations as with an Oreo binge, when in reality our bodies are always calling out for certain things, in order to provide our organs with the necessary elements they need to function. By applying this demand feeding concept to Cai's eating we help him to identify what his body craves instead of forcing him to eat what we think he needs.

Basically, we fill Cai's snack cupboard with whatever he wants, candies and vegetables alike, he can then choose what he eats at anytime of the day. I still prepare meals and he sits with us at the table but he doesn't have to eat what I prepare. Maybe that's not what his body needs right then?!

When we started the demand feeding, suggested in Hirschmann and Zaphiropoulos' book, Cai reached for the candy every time. He ate nothing but licorice and jube jubes for about 24 hours! It was pretty difficult to keep our mouths shut and let him do it (I sure brushed his teeth well!) but it has payed off. We are all a lot happier not to have to hassle him about his eating and he is getting better at identifying exactly what it is he needs to fill his tummy.

Meal times have been a lot more pleasant since starting demand feeding. Today at dinner we had turkey burgers and sweet potato oven fries, Cai was excited for the meal to start and waited anxiously for the food to be put on the table. He ate a 1/4 of his hamburger and 1/2 a carrot and 2 large pieces of lettuce dipped in salad dressing. We did not have to bug him about coming to sit down or eating. Our dinner conversation did not only consist of us telling him, for the 20th time that he has to eat his meal before he gets his ice cream. In fact, he didn't even ask for ice cream! We all could actually talk about something else other than Cai's eating - imagine!? It was all very pleasurable.

The goal is for the child to be able to recognize that the empty feeling is indeed hunger, not boredom, anxiety, sadness, or some other empty feeling, so that he learns to eat only in response to hunger. This helps to prevent eating disorders which arise from kids filling their tummies in response to other feelings of emptyness (i.e. sadness).

Wouldn't it be great if we all only ate when we were hungry and only ate as much as needed to feel full?! Reading this book has really helped me to think about my own eating habits. When I reach for that 10th Ritz cracker I stop and consider if there is something else I'm craving, or if actually I'm full and it's time to do some other activity.

Although it may feel scary to let go of the control over your child's eating the payoff is 200%. You get pleasant meals and happy kids. Kids who can acknowledge when they are hungry, what they are hungry for and when they are full. This will reduce the chance of the development of eating disorders and maybe even help you learn to listen to your own tummy.